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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22816966">all we are is skin and bone</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitterheart/pseuds/bitterheart'>bitterheart</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>a kaleidoscope of memories [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Grinding, Kissing, M/M, Reunions, Sylvain gets a taste of his own medicine, Unresolved Ending, to be resolved later</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 07:22:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,726</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22816966</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitterheart/pseuds/bitterheart</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p></p><blockquote>
  <p>"You asked me what I want," Felix says at last. He doesn't look at Sylvain. "I didn't want to answer. I haven't stopped thinking about kissing you for three weeks. It's just on my mind, constantly, and I hate it. It feels like I'm going mad."</p>
</blockquote>Sylvain and Felix meet for dinner.
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>a kaleidoscope of memories [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1627099</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>101</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>all we are is skin and bone</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is written (<i>really</i> belatedly) for FE3H Song Week Day 5: Treacherous by Taylor Swift. Title taken from the lyrics of the same song. Also to coincide with Felix's birthday!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <i>and I'll do anything you say</i><br/>
<i>if you say it with your hands</i>
  </p>
</div><br/><br/><br/>Sylvain is early to dinner with Felix.<p>He tries not to be. He’s usually late; he calls it being <i>fashionably late</i> while Ingrid calls it a <i>character flaw</i>. This time, he’s ready to leave the house well before he needs to be. </p><p>He’s been looking forward to this, as much as he’s been trying not to think too hard about it. He doesn’t know what to expect from tonight so he figures his best option is just not to expect anything at all. He doesn’t even know if he expects Felix to actually show up but that thought always makes his stomach twist uncomfortably so he just avoids dwelling on it. </p><p>The restaurant he’s picked is a cosy little place that’s part café, part live music venue, with an upstairs section away from all the noise. Sylvain has asked for a table there, far enough away from the live music that they can hear each other talk. He’s a good fifteen minutes early and the area has nothing but bars and restaurants. He doesn’t have anything else to occupy his time so he ends up walking the length of the main street, which faces onto a river. </p><p>There are people everywhere. At any other time, Sylvain would relish the opportunity for people-watching but right now, he’s too caught up in his own thoughts to pay attention to others. </p><p>He supposes that’s how he ends up leaning against the railing looking out onto the river without realising Felix is standing there too. </p><p>“Sylvain?” Felix turns to him, blinking slowly. </p><p>Felix has his hair up in a small bun, with thick-framed glasses that he wasn’t wearing at the concert. He looks gorgeous. Sylvain stares for a long moment then reaches for Felix’s shoulder, gripping it tightly. Felix is solid under his fingers. Real. </p><p>“Hey. You’re here.”</p><p>“You’re early,” Felix replies. “I was expecting you to be late. You always used to be late to everything.”</p><p>“I still am,” Sylvain admits with a grin. “But I wanted to see you.”</p><p>Felix smiles. It’s a small and subtle curve to his lips but Sylvain sees it anyway. Felix is early too and that tells Sylvain enough. </p><p>It’s a good start to their night. There’s a breeze blowing along the river and Felix doesn’t protest when Sylvain presses himself closer. Sylvain maintains contact even as they walk to the restaurant, his hand resting on Felix’s back. He gives Felix the chance to pull away if he wants, pleased when Felix pushes back into the touch. </p><p>He’s still trying not to expect too much out of Felix but when they sit at their table and their eyes meet over the tealight candle centrepiece, the way Felix looks at him makes Sylvain glad that his apartment is tidy. </p><p>“Where do we start?” Felix asks, his voice quiet, once a waiter leaves with their orders. </p><p>It’s a good question. Sylvain doesn’t think they can bridge nine years in one night but that doesn’t stop him from wanting to try. There are people out there who know Felix better than he does. He can’t stand it. </p><p>“Glenn?” Sylvain offers, equally quiet. </p><p>Felix shakes his head, his jaw tensing. </p><p>“Sorry.” Sylvain deflates, worried he’s destroyed the delicate balance of their conversation already. </p><p>“I don’t want to start with that. Maybe something a bit… happier.”</p><p>“Tell me about your week,” Sylvain suggests. They can start small and build their way up one small fact at a time. Brick by brick until they’ve rebuilt what they’ve lost. “Tell me about work. Tell me about your day to day. I have a lot of catching up to do.”</p><p>Felix has recently started working at an architecture firm, which means he’s frequently working long days powered on coffee and pure force of will. </p><p>“I spend my whole day at work, go home to sleep and then do it all over again,” Felix says, folding his arms on the table and leaning forward on them. "I manage to go to the gym every second day, and don't really have much time for anything else. I like it that way. It keeps me busy."</p><p>"Too busy to think?" Sylvain asks, and Felix's answering scowl is all the confirmation he needs. "You must be exhausted today, then. You should have rescheduled for the weekend."</p><p>Felix shakes his head. "If I didn't want to come, I wouldn't have. Besides, it doesn't matter how long I spend in the office as long as I get my work done. Things just weren't all that busy this week."</p><p>"Lucky me," Sylvain says with a wink. Felix scowls again, but Sylvain can see the way the tips of his ears turn pink, even in the low light.</p><p>"What about you?" Felix asks, so obvious in his attempt to change the subject that Sylvain can't help but find it endearing. "Where do you work?"</p><p>Sylvain laughs with an unhealthy serving of self-mockery. "I got saddled with the family business. Senior management is doing their best to whip me into shape to take over since Miklan's fucked off."</p><p>Felix flinches at the name. Sylvain raises an eyebrow, immediately curious. </p><p>Looking away, Felix clears his throat. "What happened to him?"</p><p>"Miklan happened to himself," Sylvain replies. "You remember him, don't you? He was always getting himself into trouble and dragging as many other people into it as he could."</p><p>"I remember him." Felix's tone is so cold that it makes Sylvain flinch. "I hate—<i>hated</i> him."</p><p>"Eventually, my parents got sick of bailing him out of prison." Sylvain lifts one shoulder in a lazy shrug. "Last I heard, he was still in there. I don't pay that much attention."</p><p>Felix's frown deepens, withdrawing into his own thoughts. Sylvain lets him. There isn't a single person who grew up around Miklan who didn't suffer at his hands in some way. Sylvain spent most of his childhood by Felix's side, mostly because there was nowhere else he'd rather be but partially so that he could make sure Miklan never got Felix alone to torment him. The thought of Miklan somehow managing it anyway is an uncomfortable one but Sylvain knows better than to push right now. </p><p>"Glenn really hated him," Felix says at length, his eyes meeting Sylvain's for the briefest moment before flicking away. "I didn't get it then but I get it now."</p><p>"I'll be glad if I never see him again," Sylvain says quietly. "Fuck. I'm sorry. That's the most selfish thing in the world to say to you."</p><p>"I hope you never see him again," Felix replies, ignoring the way Sylvain flounders with his apology. "Miklan never deserved you. None of your family deserves you. I always thought that when we were younger. They treated you like shit and you managed to get through it anyway and turn out into someone who <i>isn't</i> a complete asshole."</p><p>Sylvain chuckles. "I'm pretty sure I'm more than a little fucked up. Might as well warn you now so it doesn't scare you away later."</p><p>Felix scoffs. "I was so sad when my best friend moved away that my brother promised me he would do anything he possibly could to cheer me up. And then he never got to, because he was hit by a car while he was out getting something for me. If you're looking for someone who isn't also more than a little fucked up, you should look elsewhere."</p><p>"Yeah, I figured that when you took three whole weeks to actually reply to any of my messages," Sylvain says, a little too petty to let it go quite that easily.</p><p>Felix presses his lips into a thin, unhappy line at the reminder. "I said I was sorry."</p><p>"I don't think you actually did." Sylvain watches Felix sit with his discomfort for a moment longer before putting him out of his misery. "And I'm not expecting you to either. Relax, Felix. Just don't do it again. I'm not going to chase you again."</p><p>Felix nods silently. Their food arrives, and they're both clearly relieved for an excuse to let that conversation end. </p><p>They keep their conversation lighter as they eat. Felix is clearly hungry, focusing more on his food than on their conversation and Sylvain doesn't mind. He takes the opportunity to just take Felix in, until Felix looks up from his plate with a light frown.</p><p>"You keep staring at me. Not just tonight, but you were doing it at the concert too." </p><p>"You're nice to look at," Sylvain replies with a wink. When Felix clicks his tongue with irritation, brows drawing together, Sylvain adds, "I think I'm just enjoying the fact that I <i>can</i> look at you. I really didn't think I would ever see you again. I don't think you realise how happy it makes me to have you here, Felix." </p><p>"You're not the only one who feels it," Felix says, his words coming out sharp and defensive. He puts his fork and knife down, done with his food, and meets Sylvain's gaze with a frown. He's never been good at eye contact so Sylvain knows that when he's making the effort to maintain it, Felix is being serious. "This is more than I thought I'd ever have again." </p><p>"And what else do you want?" Sylvain asks, resting his chin in his hand and grinning at Felix. </p><p>Felix's gaze immediately goes to Sylvain before he looks away, unintentional in his honesty but no less devastating for it. "I don't know. What do you want?" </p><p>Under the table, Sylvain presses the toe of his foot against the side of Felix's boot, slow and deliberate. "You sure you want me to answer that in public?" </p><p>Felix's ears are pink again. "If you're going to make fun of me, I'm just going to leave." </p><p>"Don't do that." Sylvain reaches across the table, covering Felix's hand with his own. </p><p>Felix pulls his hand out from beneath Sylvain's. "Are we done here?" </p><p>Sylvain frowns, stricken. "Felix—" </p><p>"Are you done with your food?" Felix clarifies. "Maybe we can get out of here and talk somewhere else. We could walk?" </p><p>"Sure." Sylvain hopes the relief coursing through him isn't showing on his face. "Let's go."</p><p>The night has gotten colder by the time they step outside. There's the distant rumble of thunder among the clouds covering the night sky but it doesn't stop either of them. Sylvain uses it as an excuse to stand even closer to Felix than before, hand on his shoulder to pull him in. Felix looks up at him, back against Sylvain's chest. They're standing close enough to each other that Felix's breath is warm against Sylvain's mouth. </p><p>"You never could keep your hands to yourself." </p><p>Sylvain grins, his hand skimming down Felix's arm and settling on his hip. "I can promise you I've gotten even worse at it." </p><p>Felix snorts dismissively, giving Sylvain a light shove and walking away. He looks over his shoulder to see if Sylvain follows, the invitation clear in his eyes. Sylvain's feet move without thought, like he's been magnetised. He sees Felix's tiny smile as he catches up. </p><p>"What's this?" Sylvain grins. "I'm not allowed to make fun of you but you're allowed to make fun of me?"</p><p>"I'm not," Felix replies, turning to Sylvain and reaching for his hand. "I just don't like touching in public."</p><p>"So what's this, then?" Sylvain asks, squeezing Felix's hand in his.</p><p>"A compromise." Felix squeezes right back. "I still want to touch you."</p><p>"You can't just say these things," Sylvain protests, letting Felix pull him down along the riverside. "You're gonna be the death of me."</p><p>"It's just how I feel. What's wrong with that?"</p><p>Sylvain says nothing, letting Felix lead the way until they get to the end of the path. The river flows out into a lake and the water is dark and still at this time of night. Felix stands there, looking out into the dark with Sylvain's hand still held tightly in his. The air is getting colder. Sylvain thinks that he feels some light raindrops against his jacket but he doesn't dare disturb this moment. </p><p>"You asked me what I want," Felix says at last. He doesn't look at Sylvain. "I didn't want to answer. I haven't stopped thinking about kissing you for three weeks. It's just on my mind, constantly, and I hate it. It feels like I'm going mad."</p><p>This time, when Sylvain pulls Felix back against him, there's no resistance. Felix rests his head back against Sylvain's shoulder with a tired sigh. He doesn't protest when Sylvain nuzzles against him, breathing him in slowly. </p><p>Sylvain can feel himself trembling. Ever since the first night that he saw Felix in that crowd, he hasn't once been prepared for the depth of his longing. It's an all-consuming thing that he's never felt before. Sylvain is used to wanting people but <i>want</i> doesn't do this feeling justice. He could take Felix to bed a hundred times and it wouldn't be enough to satisfying the way he yearns. </p><p>"I'm gonna kiss you," Sylvain says into Felix's hair. "And if you don't want me to do that out here, we'd better go somewhere else quick—" </p><p>Felix doesn't given him the chance to finish his sentence, turning around to face Sylvain and grabbing his face with both hands, pulling him down. Their second kiss is just as firm as their first, just as desperate. Sylvain keeps his hands on Felix's waist, gripping tightly so they don't wander. Felix's fingers slide into Sylvain's hair, scratching down the nape of his neck and making him moan. Felix's tongue is against his, a steady slide back and forth until Sylvain forces them apart, both of them panting in unison. Sylvain can feel his pulse racing, and it matches the steady throb in his pants. </p><p>He sighs, resting their foreheads together. He should have waited until they weren't in public. </p><p>It starts raining around them, sparse drops at first before it grows heavier, the downpour leaving them soaked. They laugh into the small space between their mouths, their shared breath warm even when everything else around them in cold. </p><p>"Take me home," Felix murmurs, gripping the front of Sylvain's jacket tightly. </p><p>"Yeah." Sylvain presses a kiss to Felix's forehead and then his self-control fails him, crumbling to pieces as he kisses Felix's mouth again, slow and filthy before he pulls himself back, stroking his thumbs down Felix's cheeks. "Let's go."<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
Sylvain doesn't know how his self-control holds out until they're in his apartment. They call an Uber, gripping each other's hands tightly in the back seat, fingers entwined, not daring to look at each other until they're out on the street and the car is driving away. The rain has gotten even heavier but they're both already so wet that there's no point in rushing to get indoors. Felix's glasses are covered in raindrops and Sylvain leans in, pulling them off and perching them on top of his head instead. </p><p>The gesture feels more intimate than their kisses and he catches the way Felix smiles at him before leaning in. They kiss once, impossibly short and sweet and unsatisfying before Sylvain leads the way into the building, up the stairs, past his door. </p><p>That's where they reach for each other again, Felix pressed up against the door as they kiss. Felix is making desperate noises into their kiss, so beautifully needy that it takes everything Sylvain has not to sink to his knees and take Felix into his mouth to discover every single whine and whimper he can make. </p><p>They'll get there. Sylvain doesn't want to rush this. </p><p>Felix shivers against him, the cold finally getting to him. Sylvain takes a step back, cradling Felix's face in his hands because he can't bear to not be touching him in some way. </p><p>"You're freezing. We should dry off and warm up." Sylvain drags his thumb across Felix's lips, getting a light nip in return. "Do you wanna use the shower? I'll get some spare clothes for you to change into." </p><p>Felix snorts with amusement. "I thought you were going to get me out of my clothes." </p><p>"Oh, I will," Sylvain promises. They're dripping water onto the floor by the entrance but he doesn't mind lingering here just a bit longer if it means he gets to press his lips to Felix's, soft and warm. "And I'm gonna take my sweet time with it, instead of peeling you out of wet clothes." </p><p>Felix stifles his laugh against Sylvain's shoulder. Sylvain feels his heart soar. </p><p>"Yeah, okay." Felix concedes. "You have a point." </p><p>Sylvain's apartment is big enough that he has an ensuite as well as a secondary bathroom. He pulls out his tightest pair of jeans and a shirt, leaving them in the spare bathroom for Felix, then turns the kettle on to make tea to warm them both up before he goes to his ensuite, relishing the hot water and then deliberating over what to change into. He hears the rumble of the dryer as Felix figures it out and grabs for a pair of jeans and a soft, worn shirt. </p><p>He goes to the kitchen, pouring two cups of tea and carrying them to the coffee table. He settles on the couch as Felix dries his hair with the blowdryer, struck by how pleasantly domestic this feels. Like it's something he could get used to. </p><p>When Felix finally comes out of the bathroom, his hair is falling down around his shoulders and he's wearing his glasses again. Sylvain's shirt is huge on him, coming down to mid-thigh like it's a short dress, the neck of it so wide that it puts Felix's neck and collarbones on full display. Felix has folded the cuffs of Sylvain's jeans up so they're not too long for him. </p><p>Sylvain finds himself wholly unprepared for how seeing Felix wearing his clothes makes him feel. He stares openly, until Felix is looking away, clearly torn between feeling pleased with himself and embarrassed by the attention.</p><p>"C'mere," Sylvain murmurs and even though he pats his lap, he's still surprised when Felix kneels up on the couch, sitting on top of him. "Goddess, Felix. Look at you."</p><p>"Less looking, more kissing," Felix replies, already fitting their mouths together again. His glasses press up between their faces and Felix makes a small sound of irritation, pulling back for long enough to pull them off and leave them on the table before he's kissing Sylvain again. </p><p>Felix kisses like he's trying to make up for the last three weeks, and Sylvain can't get enough of it. He's enjoyed kissing other people, sure, but it's something else entirely when it's with Felix. Everything is. Sylvain feels every single thing he knows being pulled apart and put together differently in the presence of Felix. A shifting of perspectives. A gradual realisation. </p><p>This isn't the time for it. Sylvain doesn't have the brain power for it when all his blood is rushing decidedly south. All he wants right now is to pull more gorgeous noises out of Felix, to just focus his attention on making Felix feel better than he's ever felt before. </p><p>And yet, all he can think about is the fact that he's loved Felix for longer than he's even known what the word means. It makes his head spin and he can feel something close to panic rising in his chest.</p><p>Felix bites down on Sylvain's lip hard, tugging on it. "Stop thinking so hard." </p><p>"I'm thinking about you," Sylvain replies, kissing down Felix's neck and sucking marks as he goes. </p><p>"Don't want you to <i>think about me</i> right now," Felix mutters, grabbing Sylvain's hands and guiding them under his shirt. "Touch me."</p><p>Sylvain can't turn down an invitation like that. He shelves his thoughts for now. Felix needs his full attention, and that's more important than anything else. It always has been.</p><p>Now that he's dry, Felix's skin is hot under Sylvain's hands. He strokes his hands up Felix's back, pushing his shirt up as high as it will go until Felix gets the hint and pulls it the rest of the way off. Sylvain drags his nails down Felix's back again, just hard enough to scratch without leaving marks behind. Felix shivers under the touch, pressing himself closer.</p><p>Sylvain slides his hands down to rest on the curve of Felix's ass, keeping him where he is. Felix moves against Sylvain, the unintentional friction making them both moan loudly. They do it again, deliberate this time and Felix drops his head against Sylvain's shoulder with a low curse. He shifts, lining their hips up together just right. This time, the friction is perfect. They gasp into each other's mouths, arms wrapped around each other. Sylvain keeps the pace as slow as they can bear, hopelessly smitten by Felix's breathy sighs, the way his brows draw together with pleasure. He's so beautiful and open and honest and Sylvain can't help but slip a hand down between their bodies, feeling out the shape of Felix's erection in his jeans. </p><p>Felix blinks at him, eyes unfocused. He covers Sylvain's hand with his, holding it where it is as he grinds down into it. </p><p>"You're so fucking beautiful," Sylvain murmurs. This doesn't even feel real. He doesn't deserve things this good. </p><p>"Fuck me?" Felix asks, stroking his fingers through Sylvain's hair, pushing it back out of his face before kissing him. "I need it."</p><p>Sylvain is pretty sure he needs it too. He gathers Felix into his arms, pressing a light kiss to his lips.</p><p>"Hold on," he says, then gets off the couch while lifting Felix.</p><p>"Shit," Felix says shakily, his legs wrapping tighter around Sylvain's waist. He buries his face against the crook of Sylvain's neck and holds on.</p><p>Sylvain carries them to his bedroom, steadying them against the wall just by the door. Felix lifts his head, pressing kisses along Sylvain's jaw.</p><p>"How are you this hot? It's unfair." </p><p>Sylvain laughs against Felix's lips. "Been thinking that since the moment I saw you." </p><p>He carries Felix the rest of the way to the bed, putting him down and then climbing on top of him. Felix spreads his legs, letting Sylvain settle between them. Sylvain is bigger than Felix and heavier, but when he tries to hold himself up, Felix just clicks his tongue and pulls him down.</p><p>"Are you sure?" Sylvain asks, and he's talking about so many things at once. He's talking about putting his weight on Felix. He's talking about the kisses. He's talking about what they're doing tonight, and what he hopes will come after.</p><p>"Yes," Felix tells him, breathless and beautiful. He's looking up at Sylvain like he's never been more certain of anything. "<i>Yes</i>, Sylvain, please." </p><p>Sylvain could never deny Felix anything when they were younger. He isn't any better at it now. He presses Felix into the sheets, their hips aligning just right. The friction makes his breath come rushing out of him on a shaky exhale. Felix wraps his legs around Sylvain's waist, pulling him down into another biting kiss, fingers buried in Sylvain's hair and tugging hard enough to make him moan. </p><p>"Come on," Felix urges, grinding up against Sylvain, his lips on Sylvain's jaw, his neck, around his earlobe. "Want you, Sylvain, <i>please</i>."</p><p>"Yeah." Sylvain is breathless. He feels like he's burning up under the intensity of his own desire and Felix's fingers only stoke the flames, pushing Sylvain's shirt up and off before smoothing over the firm muscle of his abdomen before sliding further down. </p><p>"Off," Felix says, and Sylvain kneels up, fingers fumbling with his fly. </p><p>Felix pushes his hands out of the way and undoes it himself, tugging Sylvain's jeans down. His fingers feel out the shape of Sylvain's cock through his underwear, stroking slowly. Sylvain tips his head back with a gasp, grinding into Felix's touch. </p><p>"Get this off too," Felix tells him, tugging at the waistband of Sylvain's boxers. </p><p>"You're so bossy," Sylvain laughs, nuzzling into Felix's neck and kissing it as he tugs his boxers down to his knees. He steps off the bed, kicking them off all the way and then helps Felix out of his jeans too, tugging them off his legs and raising his eyebrows at the fact that Felix isn't wearing any underwear. </p><p>"Well, mine were wet," Felix explains, as Sylvain kneels over him again. "I didn't see the point of putting any on when I was counting on them coming off again." </p><p>Sylvain laughs, bending down to kiss Felix hard. "I fucking adore you." </p><p>Felix holds Sylvain's face in both hands, kissing him in return. It's slow and deep and filthy, as if they have all the time in the world. As if Felix isn't impatiently grinding up against Sylvain, lining up their cocks and reaching down to wrap his fingers around them both so he can stroke. </p><p>"Felix," Sylvain gasps out, pressing one last kiss to his lips before shifting back out of his reach. "Baby, you can't do that if you still want me to fuck you after."</p><p>"Hurry up then," Felix murmurs, like the wait is Sylvain's fault. </p><p>Sylvain reaches over to his bedside drawers, grabbing for his condoms and lube. Felix exhales shakily, spreading his legs for Sylvain. He's flexible, hooking his hand under his thigh and pulling it up to his chest. Sylvain, curious to see how far he'll bend, gently guides Felix's other leg up as well, until he's nearly bent in half.</p><p>"Holy shit, Felix," he breathes reverently, keeping his hand on Felix's leg while using the other to uncap the bottle of lube, squeezing it out right onto Felix's skin.</p><p>"That's <i>cold</i> you idiot—" Felix gasps, squirming beneath Sylvain, cutting himself off with a whine as Sylvain drags two of his fingers through the lube, circling around Felix's hole before trailing up along his perineum. "Mmmhh, Sylvain."</p><p>His name sounds so gorgeous when it's accompanied by Felix tipping his head back, brows drawing together with pleasure. He circles his index finger around once more before gently pushing in. It goes in much easier than Sylvain is expecting and he lifts an eyebrow at Felix, whose ears are pink as he looks away.</p><p>"I already got myself ready," he admits. "You don't have to be so gentle."</p><p>"When?" Sylvain asks, lightheaded from how Felix just keeps stealing his breath away. He presses two fingers into Felix, curling them until he gasps sharply. "Was it in the shower? Did you finger yourself before you put my clothes on?" </p><p>"Shut up." Felix's voice is tight with pleasure but his words are tinged with embarrassment. He takes three of Sylvain's fingers with a shaky exhale, arching up off the bed as they brush against his prostate. "Oh, there. Again."</p><p>"<i>So</i> bossy," Sylvain chuckles. He deliberate avoids Felix's prostate until he's panting loudly, face scrunched up with frustration. </p><p>Then, when Sylvain thrusts his fingers at that perfect angle again, Felix's eyes go wide and he moans loudly. He unravels a little, unprepared for the pleasure this time. Sylvain digs his fingers into Felix's thigh so hard that he's sure he'll leave bruises behind, keeping him bent over himself. </p><p>"Come on, come on," Felix urges, and he looks and sounds so desperate that Sylvain can't deny him a single thing he wants. </p><p>He lets go of Felix's thigh to slide a condom on and stroke some lube onto himself. Felix reaches down, spreading himself open so Sylvain can sink into him pushing in inch by inch until he's bottomed out. They take a moment, foreheads resting against each other as they pant for breath. </p><p>This is real. This is Felix beneath him, face flushed with pleasure, pupils blown until his irises are just a ring of gold around them like an eclipse. </p><p>"You're beautiful," Sylvain tells him, when what he means is, <i>I think I've loved you all my life</i>. </p><p>Sylvain leans forward, bending Felix's legs over his own body as far as they'll go. He holds them in place and Felix keens softly, fingers scrabbling for the bedsheets at the change in angle. </p><p>"I've got you," Sylvain promises, turning his head to kiss Felix's leg. </p><p>He starts with gentle thrusts, just rocking his hips until Felix grabs for his arms, tugging in a demand for more. Sylvain picks up his pace, fucking Felix harder until the bed's shaking beneath them. Felix looks blissed out, eyes half-lidded and his pretty mouth pink and wet from where he's been biting at it. </p><p>"Want you," Felix gasps out, his words slurring together with pleasure.</p><p>"You have me, sweetheart," Sylvain tells him. Felix has no idea just how true those words are. </p><p>"Closer," Felix urges. "Wanna hold you." </p><p>"Oh, Felix." Sylvain slows down so he can shift their positions. </p><p>He brings Felix's legs down, wrapping them around his waist. Felix's arms go around his shoulders immediately, holding on tightly, face buried against the curve of Sylvain's neck. </p><p>"Better?" Sylvain asks, feeling Felix nod against his shoulder. </p><p>It feels different when they're holding each other this close. Sylvain doesn't usually like facing people when having sex with them but Felix is an exception to every rule that he's ever had. He doesn't care for this kind of intimacy with other people but right now, he wants everything Felix will give him from the soft hitching whine every time Sylvain pulls out, to the scratch of his short nails down Sylvain's back and the beautiful moans whenever Sylvain's cock hits his prostate just right. </p><p>He can feel the way Felix is trembling beneath him, so overwhelmed and still so greedy, his eyes unfocused. He has his legs wrapped tightly around Sylvain's waist to keep him right where he is so all he can do is grind into Felix, slipping a hand between their bodies to stroke his cock. </p><p>"<i>Sylvain</i>," Felix moans, turning his face into Sylvain's neck again, holding on tightly as his orgasm crashes over him. He repeats it until he's out of breath, <i>Sylvain, Sylvain, Sylvain</i>, and it sounds so right on his tongue that Sylvain never wants to hear his name said by anyone else again.</p><p>Felix tightens around Sylvain as he comes, pulling Sylvain over the edge with him. Sylvain buries himself into Felix, holding him close until he's done. Felix doesn't let him go even then, still shaking. </p><p>Sylvain turns his head, kissing Felix's forehead, the tip of his nose, his lips. "You okay?"</p><p>Felix lets out a noncommittal hum, holding onto him even tighter. </p><p>"I'll be right here," Sylvain tells him. "I'm just gonna grab a towel to clean us off, but I'm not going any further than that, okay?"</p><p>Felix still takes a moment to let go but he finally does with a soft sigh. Sylvain presses a kiss to his lips, then another to his forehead before getting up. His ensuite's just a few steps away and he throws his condom out and grabs a towel, running it under the water before he returns to bed. </p><p>"See? Told you I'd be back." Sylvain smiles at Felix, focusing on wiping him clean first. </p><p>Felix is pliant under Sylvain's hands, content to just lie there. Sylvain gets up again to throw the towel into his hamper and turning the light off before climbing onto the bed, pulling the sheets aside so they can both get comfortable. Sylvain pulls Felix into his arms, kissing him softly until they're both too tired to keep going. </p><p>"G'night," he murmurs, tucking Felix's head under his chin as he drifts off to sleep.</p><p>"Yeah," Felix replies, breath warm against Sylvain's skin. "Night."<br/>
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Sylvain wakes up when Felix does. He's too tired to open his eyes, but he can feel the way Felix rolls over onto his back. </p><p>Felix stays that way for a while, too tense to be asleep. The room is still dark when Sylvain opens his eyes. Felix doesn't notice. Sylvain's too tired to say anything but he lies there, his eyes adjusting to the dark enough to tell that Felix is frowning up at the ceiling. </p><p>He manages a sleepy hum, shuffling closer so his head is against Felix's shoulder. The flinch he gets in return is enough to wake him all the way up. </p><p>"Felix," he mumbles, reaching for him. </p><p>"Go back to sleep." Felix's tone is clipped. He sounds frustrated and with a sinking feeling, Sylvain realises where this is going. </p><p>Usually, he's the one sneaking out on his bedmates in the middle of the night, not the other way around. </p><p>"Felix," he says, a little louder this time. He sits up and it sets Felix into motion too, getting out from under the covers and stepping away from the bed. Sylvain swallows. "Felix, don't do this."</p><p>"No." There's panic creeping into Felix's voice. "No, we can't do this." </p><p>"Yes we can." Sylvain feels the frustration rise in him, the same way it did when Felix refused to answer any of his calls or reply to any of his messages. "We <i>did</i>."</p><p>Felix backs away and Sylvain feels something in him break. Of course he doesn't get to have this. It's too good to be true. Much too good for him. </p><p>"Fine," he sighs. "Leave." </p><p>"Sylvain—"</p><p>"Felix," he cuts in, his voice a little too loud, his anger too close to the surface. He laughs, plastering his best smile onto his face. "Whatever you have to say, it's really not gonna help when you're still walking out that door in the end. Just go. I get the message. I should've gotten it weeks ago. I'll leave you alone. I'll lose your number. Anything you want, Felix. I give up."</p><p>The worst part of this is that Felix looks miserable. Like he has any right to be when he's the one leaving. Sylvain turns away, pulling the covers up and facing away from Felix to let him leave. </p><p>He doesn't manage to get to sleep as Felix finds his way to the dryer and gets dressed in his own clothes. He's still awake when he hears the front door quietly shut behind Felix once he leaves. </p><p>Despite his best efforts, by the time the sun rises the next morning, Sylvain still hasn't slept at all.</p>
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